Today is a very special day in our family. No I'm not turning 40, I am way younger than that. :) This time 40 years ago, around 10 am, a young couple, him being a skinny dude and she having a big ole hairdo were going to the courthouse in Gainsville, TX to get married. I don't picture it as being a big event, but there were a few friends and family members there who apparently completely stuffed their car full of newspapers. They were then on to Six Flags and the Holiday Inn in Dallas. It doesn't sound like much, but it was the beginning of journey that would lead to 40 years of marriage for my Mom and Dad.
We typically say happy anniversary to couples without much thought of what it means, but this one is very personal to me. If you know me well, you know that God has put a fire in my soul for my marriage, and the marriages of those around me. The journey my parents are on has been a major part in that.
If I look back at my childhood, I do always remember a Mom and Dad that frequently said "I love you" to everyone in our house. It was a common occurrence, and to this day, if you hang around long, they will hug you and tell you they love you. That was always existent between Mom and Dad too. My kids today gross out anytime Angela and I kiss in front of them, although we do it a lot intentionally. It is not an uncommon occurrence today to see my parents being flirtatious with each other, and it doesn't bother me a bit. They have a lot of fun together, they fight for one another, and they are faithfully committed to each other and to the Lord.
It has not always been fantastic though. There have been some really tough times in their journey. There have been many relationship issues, job losses, health issues, money issues, deaths, car wrecks, and a very near divorce. Yes, forgive me later Mom and Dad for sharing, but there is a part of your journey that marked me forever. I was probably 8-9 when Mom and Dad did the sit down to inform my brother and I that they were getting divorced. I remember being devastated and confused, and not really understanding what that meant. All I knew is that Mom and Dad didn't care much for each other and it was NOT good. We lived apart for nearly a year, and Mom and Dad led separate lives. I just didn't get it. I don't know the events that changed their hearts, nor do I need to know, but I do know that God was involved and they will both tell you that to this very day. I don't tell this story to be negative towards my parents. I tell you this story because Angela and I have given our hearts investment to many couples that gave up hope in their marriages. They came to the end of their rope and quit. My Mom and Dad are a testament to the fact that if you hand your lives to Christ and live for him, there is no end to the rope, but it goes "till death do you part". Thank you, thank you, thank you, for fighting through all of the incredibly rough events in this journey.
I look forward to the future of this journey with my parents, and I pray for them daily. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. I love you both tremendously, and I hope your evening tonight is a just a little token of appreciation from my family to you guys.
Happy 40th Anniversary!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
It's Not About Me!
It’s been a while back now, probably around 10 years or more, that we decided at my former church to study the book Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. We had 40 days of study, as well as small groups that met and discussed the many good principals in the book. Yet today, the content of the very first day of the book, is still buried deep within my heart and my mind.
Since that time, many things have changed in my life, and i’ve read and listened to many good Biblical teachings, but this one principle is still there, still profoundly true, and life changing. That principle is simply this, “It’s not about you”. Seriously, hear me clearly, “It’s not about you”. If your life became a box office, record breaking movie, you wouldn’t even be the lead role.
The Bible says it like this in Colossians 1:16 MSG.
“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible.... everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.”
John 3:30 says this “He must become greater; I must become less.”
OK, Kasey, I get your simple principle, but where are you going with this? Here is the practical truth that really hurts when you reflect this principle personally. Even though I sit here writing about this truth, I live like everything on this planet is about me. We by our sinful nature, live for us, numero uno! Yes, yes, I know I do many good things. I love to serve others, and I give joyfully, and I love my family and God, but after reviewing my life yesterday sitting at church I found some ugly things.
Margaret Thatcher stated this...
“Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become... habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!“
That quote rocked my world. I began to review my thoughts and actions and it scared me, so I’ll just be transparent with some real situations in my life.
We had new neighbors move in next door about 2 years ago. They were a blended family with 5 kids starting from 4 to 17. It didn’t take long to realize they didn’t look like, act like, or believe like us. Their parenting principle was far different than ours. Numerous Saturday mornings their 4 year old would be ringing our door at 8am, in his jammies, with no adults to be found. The parents would leave the house for the day, and 4 children under the age of 12 would spend the day managing themselves (use your imagination). Last summer, the ex-husband of the mother living there, moved in with his new wife and 3 more kids. We expected Jerry Springer to visit, but he never did. What does Kasey the good Christian do, of course he invites them to church and welcomes their differences... NOT. Actually we considered moving for a while before God reminded us that “It’s not about you”. The situation is much better now, but still we have really tough days with the drama of the neighbor kids. Truth, these kids aren’t the nuisance, we think they are on some days. God has provided us with an opportunity to minister, teach, and love these kids, and change their lives, but will we get it? It’s not about me.
My job recently took a drastic change where I was given a new role that was really not in my skill set or desires. I was assigned management over a large accounting system, that currently has a staff of 10 people that support it. Our company will use it in a much smaller capacity, but I am now the sole support support person. My emotions and thoughts have been all over the place from anger to severe disappointment. My script of life looks way different, with me doing what I love and enjoy, which is writing software. I’ve prayed for the right to quit and go elsewhere, but the truth keeps coming back, “it’s not about you”. Giving the situation patience, God has developed numerous new relationships in my life, in which I’ve been able to grow, and invest into the lives of others. It’s not about me.
Some of the “It’s not about you” revelations have come from really stupid, petty situations. While shopping a couple of weeks back, we came out to find a suburban parked with its bumper dang near on top of my bumper. The couple was getting into it at the same time we walked out. I angrily informed him that he’d hit my car, as we both walked up to look. The wife hinted that our car wasn’t there when they parked. We separated the cars and there really wasn’t any damage. The guy apologized. Here’s the sad part. I really wanted to hurt the guy, and his wife for that part. It’s my car, you hit it, and you deserved punishment!!! Do they not realize that my car is greater than theirs? Do they not realized that this life is about me? Ugg, I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit and his convictions.
There are many more real life situations, that are not pretty, that I could reveal and be transparent about, but I think you get the point. If I was guessing, we could all tell some stories. We have scars of many sorts, divorce, broken families, broken friendships, broken churches, etc. because we truly believe that this life is about us.
God tells us to put him first and foremost, but next comes our neighbors, or the others in our lives. We rank third at best. I just have to stop and wonder what life might look like if we really ordered our thoughts and actions, in that order. I’m confident that our efforts to rank ourselves about others and our battle with pride would disappear, and we would really experience the true love of Christ.
It’s not about me.
Since that time, many things have changed in my life, and i’ve read and listened to many good Biblical teachings, but this one principle is still there, still profoundly true, and life changing. That principle is simply this, “It’s not about you”. Seriously, hear me clearly, “It’s not about you”. If your life became a box office, record breaking movie, you wouldn’t even be the lead role.
The Bible says it like this in Colossians 1:16 MSG.
“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible.... everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.”
John 3:30 says this “He must become greater; I must become less.”
OK, Kasey, I get your simple principle, but where are you going with this? Here is the practical truth that really hurts when you reflect this principle personally. Even though I sit here writing about this truth, I live like everything on this planet is about me. We by our sinful nature, live for us, numero uno! Yes, yes, I know I do many good things. I love to serve others, and I give joyfully, and I love my family and God, but after reviewing my life yesterday sitting at church I found some ugly things.
Margaret Thatcher stated this...
“Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become... habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!“
That quote rocked my world. I began to review my thoughts and actions and it scared me, so I’ll just be transparent with some real situations in my life.
We had new neighbors move in next door about 2 years ago. They were a blended family with 5 kids starting from 4 to 17. It didn’t take long to realize they didn’t look like, act like, or believe like us. Their parenting principle was far different than ours. Numerous Saturday mornings their 4 year old would be ringing our door at 8am, in his jammies, with no adults to be found. The parents would leave the house for the day, and 4 children under the age of 12 would spend the day managing themselves (use your imagination). Last summer, the ex-husband of the mother living there, moved in with his new wife and 3 more kids. We expected Jerry Springer to visit, but he never did. What does Kasey the good Christian do, of course he invites them to church and welcomes their differences... NOT. Actually we considered moving for a while before God reminded us that “It’s not about you”. The situation is much better now, but still we have really tough days with the drama of the neighbor kids. Truth, these kids aren’t the nuisance, we think they are on some days. God has provided us with an opportunity to minister, teach, and love these kids, and change their lives, but will we get it? It’s not about me.
My job recently took a drastic change where I was given a new role that was really not in my skill set or desires. I was assigned management over a large accounting system, that currently has a staff of 10 people that support it. Our company will use it in a much smaller capacity, but I am now the sole support support person. My emotions and thoughts have been all over the place from anger to severe disappointment. My script of life looks way different, with me doing what I love and enjoy, which is writing software. I’ve prayed for the right to quit and go elsewhere, but the truth keeps coming back, “it’s not about you”. Giving the situation patience, God has developed numerous new relationships in my life, in which I’ve been able to grow, and invest into the lives of others. It’s not about me.
Some of the “It’s not about you” revelations have come from really stupid, petty situations. While shopping a couple of weeks back, we came out to find a suburban parked with its bumper dang near on top of my bumper. The couple was getting into it at the same time we walked out. I angrily informed him that he’d hit my car, as we both walked up to look. The wife hinted that our car wasn’t there when they parked. We separated the cars and there really wasn’t any damage. The guy apologized. Here’s the sad part. I really wanted to hurt the guy, and his wife for that part. It’s my car, you hit it, and you deserved punishment!!! Do they not realize that my car is greater than theirs? Do they not realized that this life is about me? Ugg, I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit and his convictions.
There are many more real life situations, that are not pretty, that I could reveal and be transparent about, but I think you get the point. If I was guessing, we could all tell some stories. We have scars of many sorts, divorce, broken families, broken friendships, broken churches, etc. because we truly believe that this life is about us.
God tells us to put him first and foremost, but next comes our neighbors, or the others in our lives. We rank third at best. I just have to stop and wonder what life might look like if we really ordered our thoughts and actions, in that order. I’m confident that our efforts to rank ourselves about others and our battle with pride would disappear, and we would really experience the true love of Christ.
It’s not about me.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Prequalified!
But Moses pleaded with the LORD, O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled. Then the LORD asked Moses, Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say. Exodus 4:10-12
How many days do we eliminate ourselves from the race in which God has called us because we feel unqualified or incapable to take on the task? Personally, I've taken myself out of numerous opportunities because "I" didn't feel I had what it took. I'm confident I've missed out on God's blessings and growth, because I said no, due to my feelings.
If my own insecurities haven't been enough, there are plenty of outside influences to hold me back. The competition in life to materially and financially compete with the Jones'. The titles that we cling to with education or work roles, can influence our confidence in abilities. Our physical attributes and even the clothes we wear can be used against us in what we can accomplish. Even in some churches, there is a hierarchy of capabilities that we get restricted by. I know for me I have had negative influences that held me back because I was divorced early in my life.
The good news, when we have a relationship with the risen Christ, God doesn't qualify us based on worldly flaws and self induced restrictions. He calls us regardless if we are stumbling, mumbling fools in the view of the world. Usually he calls us in spite of our flaws. Moses saw himself as a weak individual with very poor speaking skills, but God saw him as a divinely driven leader. God's response is what we need to daily need to cling to in our personal lives. I do not have the right to debate my lack of abilities with the God who created all, and has the master plan for my life. I have to full trust him, ignore the worldly influences, and realize he doesn't recognize my self described limitations. As Henry Blackaby puts it, God takes the ordinary and makes them extraordinary.
How does this look in my personal life today? Lately, I've been very down and doubting my ability to lead my children. My thoughts tell me that I am failing, and the rebellious behaviors that occur with my kids are my lack of ability to teach and guide them. God is telling me today, that I have what it takes. He is telling me that he gave me these two awesome kids for his Glory and that he will provide me with the ability to lead them and point him to Him. I accept the calling Lord.
How does this look in your life today?
How many days do we eliminate ourselves from the race in which God has called us because we feel unqualified or incapable to take on the task? Personally, I've taken myself out of numerous opportunities because "I" didn't feel I had what it took. I'm confident I've missed out on God's blessings and growth, because I said no, due to my feelings.
If my own insecurities haven't been enough, there are plenty of outside influences to hold me back. The competition in life to materially and financially compete with the Jones'. The titles that we cling to with education or work roles, can influence our confidence in abilities. Our physical attributes and even the clothes we wear can be used against us in what we can accomplish. Even in some churches, there is a hierarchy of capabilities that we get restricted by. I know for me I have had negative influences that held me back because I was divorced early in my life.
The good news, when we have a relationship with the risen Christ, God doesn't qualify us based on worldly flaws and self induced restrictions. He calls us regardless if we are stumbling, mumbling fools in the view of the world. Usually he calls us in spite of our flaws. Moses saw himself as a weak individual with very poor speaking skills, but God saw him as a divinely driven leader. God's response is what we need to daily need to cling to in our personal lives. I do not have the right to debate my lack of abilities with the God who created all, and has the master plan for my life. I have to full trust him, ignore the worldly influences, and realize he doesn't recognize my self described limitations. As Henry Blackaby puts it, God takes the ordinary and makes them extraordinary.
How does this look in my personal life today? Lately, I've been very down and doubting my ability to lead my children. My thoughts tell me that I am failing, and the rebellious behaviors that occur with my kids are my lack of ability to teach and guide them. God is telling me today, that I have what it takes. He is telling me that he gave me these two awesome kids for his Glory and that he will provide me with the ability to lead them and point him to Him. I accept the calling Lord.
How does this look in your life today?
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Worthlessly Useful
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 1 Cor 1:26
I love the hope that this verse supplies. God chose to call me even though I was a nobody. The only thing special about me was his fingerprints on my life. I didn't grow up wealthy, live in a big house, or have name brand clothes. I wasn't the star athlete, the brightest kid in class, or definitely the best looking. I didn't go to the top notch college, I didn't drive the coolest car, nor was I most popular.
My story was different by the world's standard. I wore what my parents could afford. I rode to school in a 1966 Ford Falcon, that my Granny drove till the day she died. It wasn't cool then, but I'd love a ride in it beside her today :). I married my high school girlfriend, in which I lived with unmarried. I did what I had to do to remain above average. I got divorced in college, did some really stupid things, hurt a lot of people, and dealt with a run of heavy drinking. The picture sure doesn't look like the world's or God's poster child for being called.
The good news, God didn't choose the over achievers. He called the tax collectors, the murderer's, the unfaithful, and, the uneducated. He chose those who really were incapable by the world's standards. That's me!!! He called me to make a difference for eternity. He called me to encourage the hurting, to love the unlovable, to build marriages, to help with finances, and best of all, to share the good news of our forgiveness in Christ!!
If you are waiting to get your act together in life to deal with God, you are deceived. He's calling you as you are right now.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Ungraceful Progress
For sometime now, it has been on my heart to start a blog, so today I will. Oh my, what to name it? Looking at my life's journey, the name presented itself clearly, "Ungraceful Progress". What's that mean? Well the definition of graceful is, "characterized by beauty of movement". Add the "un" and there you go, not much about my life has can be characterized by beauty of movement, but more like, "learning the hard way". The good news, I'm still moving forward and making progess, one day at a time.
All credit of progress goes simply to my faith in Christ, and the direction he has set before me. Everyday is a journey in which I look to see what opportunies are before me, try to look past the distractions and obstacles, and confidently know that God's in charge and has a plan. Many days I trip over my own pride and stubborness, but with hindsight and accountability, I repent, learn from it, and keep striving forward. God has taught me tons through this iterative process, and therefore gave me a passionate heart to help guide others and make committed disciples of Christ.
The single most important truth that I will end with, is that you cannot seperate your faith in Christ, and other aspects in life. If you truly have a relationship with Him, then there is no seperation. You cannot consider yourself religious on Sundays, and live life your way the rest of the week. Christ isn't a religious activity, event, or way of life, he is Life itself. Without this simple truth, you are missing out.
All credit of progress goes simply to my faith in Christ, and the direction he has set before me. Everyday is a journey in which I look to see what opportunies are before me, try to look past the distractions and obstacles, and confidently know that God's in charge and has a plan. Many days I trip over my own pride and stubborness, but with hindsight and accountability, I repent, learn from it, and keep striving forward. God has taught me tons through this iterative process, and therefore gave me a passionate heart to help guide others and make committed disciples of Christ.
The single most important truth that I will end with, is that you cannot seperate your faith in Christ, and other aspects in life. If you truly have a relationship with Him, then there is no seperation. You cannot consider yourself religious on Sundays, and live life your way the rest of the week. Christ isn't a religious activity, event, or way of life, he is Life itself. Without this simple truth, you are missing out.
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