It’s been a while back now, probably around 10 years or more, that we decided at my former church to study the book Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. We had 40 days of study, as well as small groups that met and discussed the many good principals in the book. Yet today, the content of the very first day of the book, is still buried deep within my heart and my mind.
Since that time, many things have changed in my life, and i’ve read and listened to many good Biblical teachings, but this one principle is still there, still profoundly true, and life changing. That principle is simply this, “It’s not about you”. Seriously, hear me clearly, “It’s not about you”. If your life became a box office, record breaking movie, you wouldn’t even be the lead role.
The Bible says it like this in Colossians 1:16 MSG.
“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible.... everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.”
John 3:30 says this “He must become greater; I must become less.”
OK, Kasey, I get your simple principle, but where are you going with this? Here is the practical truth that really hurts when you reflect this principle personally. Even though I sit here writing about this truth, I live like everything on this planet is about me. We by our sinful nature, live for us, numero uno! Yes, yes, I know I do many good things. I love to serve others, and I give joyfully, and I love my family and God, but after reviewing my life yesterday sitting at church I found some ugly things.
Margaret Thatcher stated this...
“Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become... habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!“
That quote rocked my world. I began to review my thoughts and actions and it scared me, so I’ll just be transparent with some real situations in my life.
We had new neighbors move in next door about 2 years ago. They were a blended family with 5 kids starting from 4 to 17. It didn’t take long to realize they didn’t look like, act like, or believe like us. Their parenting principle was far different than ours. Numerous Saturday mornings their 4 year old would be ringing our door at 8am, in his jammies, with no adults to be found. The parents would leave the house for the day, and 4 children under the age of 12 would spend the day managing themselves (use your imagination). Last summer, the ex-husband of the mother living there, moved in with his new wife and 3 more kids. We expected Jerry Springer to visit, but he never did. What does Kasey the good Christian do, of course he invites them to church and welcomes their differences... NOT. Actually we considered moving for a while before God reminded us that “It’s not about you”. The situation is much better now, but still we have really tough days with the drama of the neighbor kids. Truth, these kids aren’t the nuisance, we think they are on some days. God has provided us with an opportunity to minister, teach, and love these kids, and change their lives, but will we get it? It’s not about me.
My job recently took a drastic change where I was given a new role that was really not in my skill set or desires. I was assigned management over a large accounting system, that currently has a staff of 10 people that support it. Our company will use it in a much smaller capacity, but I am now the sole support support person. My emotions and thoughts have been all over the place from anger to severe disappointment. My script of life looks way different, with me doing what I love and enjoy, which is writing software. I’ve prayed for the right to quit and go elsewhere, but the truth keeps coming back, “it’s not about you”. Giving the situation patience, God has developed numerous new relationships in my life, in which I’ve been able to grow, and invest into the lives of others. It’s not about me.
Some of the “It’s not about you” revelations have come from really stupid, petty situations. While shopping a couple of weeks back, we came out to find a suburban parked with its bumper dang near on top of my bumper. The couple was getting into it at the same time we walked out. I angrily informed him that he’d hit my car, as we both walked up to look. The wife hinted that our car wasn’t there when they parked. We separated the cars and there really wasn’t any damage. The guy apologized. Here’s the sad part. I really wanted to hurt the guy, and his wife for that part. It’s my car, you hit it, and you deserved punishment!!! Do they not realize that my car is greater than theirs? Do they not realized that this life is about me? Ugg, I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit and his convictions.
There are many more real life situations, that are not pretty, that I could reveal and be transparent about, but I think you get the point. If I was guessing, we could all tell some stories. We have scars of many sorts, divorce, broken families, broken friendships, broken churches, etc. because we truly believe that this life is about us.
God tells us to put him first and foremost, but next comes our neighbors, or the others in our lives. We rank third at best. I just have to stop and wonder what life might look like if we really ordered our thoughts and actions, in that order. I’m confident that our efforts to rank ourselves about others and our battle with pride would disappear, and we would really experience the true love of Christ.
It’s not about me.
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